How the Dummkpf Rock Came to be
by Blingyg
Summary: A one shot about my self made weapon. Sorry that I've been slacking on my other stories, but they will be comming out very soon. Its best if you imagine this in the anime narrorator's sp? voice.


Once upon a time, there was a boy named Gilbert. He was an idiot. Every day he would spend his day tormenting Elisaveta, invading the vital regions of the stuffy Austrian, of playing pranks on his little brother Ludwig. One day, he got the 'awesome' idea to mess with his brother again. He knew that Ludwig would be coming home from a military event that night in a highly decorated uniform. Maybe he could get a quick chuckle from the gruff German.

"PRUSSIA YOU DUMMKOPF! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT YOU ARE IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE!" Ludwig, covered in what was a bucket of Feliciano's tomato sauce, screamed at the Prussian yet again, for his act of stupidity. Gilbert just laughed and walked away at this.

That night, Gilbert had a dream. This wasn't his usual dream of him and Elizaveta riding on Gilbird into the sunset (he seemed to have that dream a lot). No, this dream involved him walking through the Black Forest of Germany. He was wandering through the woods when a blindingly neon pink creature appeared in front of him. "Gilbert, I am here to tell you that you are the biggest idiot I've ever known. Your stupidity will be greatly punished."

"Who am I to listen to a pink sparkle fairy?" the albino snickered in disbelief.

"You should listen to me because I'm the one in charge of all the German sparkle parties in the country. And for that remark, the Austrians have just found out how to throw one with much better music." the figure remarked in a threatening tone, pointing a pair of scissors at him.

"What's my punishment?"

"First of all, Prussia will be off the map after WWII, and you're gonna get hit with these by the people who deal with your idiotic ways for the next twenty-four hours." the German Sparkle Fairy laughed as she threw a rock at Gilbert and disappeared.

He dodged the rock, then went to pick it up. The rock was bigger than a baseball, yet smaller than a softball. The word "Dummkopf" was written on the side, as clear as day with a sharpie™. "What a schmuck." he muttered.

The next morning, Gilbert woke up to the smell of tomato sauce coming from the kitchen. Feliciano was replacing what Gilbert had ruined the day before. As the Prussian walked downstairs, he saw little Feli mixing a large pot of sauce, and Ludwig sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. "Hello peasants!" Gilbert said over the Italian's joyful but out of tune singing.

"OH HI PRUSSIA! CAUSEOFHOWSTUPIDSHESAIDYOUARE! !" (Translation for the lazy people that don't want to take the time to read that last passage: OH HI PRUSSIA! THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS WITH GERMANY AND THE GERMAN SPARKLE FAIRY CAME AND TOLD US ABOUT A LOT OF PERSONAL STUFF ABOUT YOU AND SHE GAVE US AND ALL THE OTHER COUNTRIES THESE ROCKS THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO THTOW AT YOU BECAUSE OF HOW STUPID SHE SAID YOU ARE!). Feli said/sang in one long word-sentence-thing. Then he took a rock that appeared out of nowhere and pelted Gilbert with it. The rock collided with his head.

"Mien Gott! What was that for?" Gilbert exclaimed, rubbing his empty noggin in pain and slight confusion.

"I do whatever the fairies tell me to do!" Feliciano cheered as he went back to his tomato sauce making. Germany then threw a rock at the poor Prussian, who felt too much like crap at the moment to throw it back at the stern blond's chiseled features (as chiseled as anime can allow anyway).

Throughout the day, Gilbert constantly got hit with the Dummkopf rocks by the people that were sick of all his crap (so all the countries excluding the Bad Touch members- scratch that. Antonio hit him in the mouth, knocking out a few teeth). Even wimpy little Roderich hit him in the vital regions that day. Good job Roddy! At the end of the day, a very injured Prussian visited the only person he somehow didn't see today- Elizaveta. That woman could throw rocks at someone like nobody's business, and with perfect aim! As he expected, she had a potato sack of Dummkopf rocks ready for fire. Gilbert just stood there, with no more swag of ego left in him (GASP! That's unheard of from him if you didn't already know) and embraced what he thought would be his final hour.

The rockshower started. The skies even turned dark and a suspenseful piano accompaniment started to play in the background. Apparently Roderich wanted to watch this all go down. Gilbert didn't try to dodge the rocks at all because he knew it would be no use. He blacked out in a matter of seconds, falling to the ground with a thump. Then he died. The end.

Just kidding. Gilbert was to stubborn to die from stoning. The next morning, he woke up in pain from Elizaveta's attack. He was in one of Roderich's spare rooms, and snickered in disgust because he let them help him (dude, really?). That instant, he decided that the Dummkopf rock would be a Prussian weapon, and he used them to his advantage in the War of the Austrian Succession- until Elizabeta came along. Anyway, the point of this story was to tell you how the Dummkopf rock originated, but for whatever reason it always ends with Gilbert being an idiot, or in this case, a dummkopf


End file.
